From the notes of Reverend Josiah Pratt of The Eclectic Society of London.
Josiah Pratt, The Thought of the Evangelical Leaders: Notes of the Discussions of the Eclectic Society, London During the Years 1798-1814, ed. John Henry Pratt (Edinburgh; Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1978).
What are the first and most prominent discoveries of depravity in children, and the best methods of counteracting them?
September 17, 1798
Topic proposed by Rev. Thomas Scott.
Discussion contributors included Rev. Josiah Pratt, Rev. John Clayton, Rev. Basil Woodd, Rev. W. J. Abdy, Rev. J. Goode, Rev. J. Venn, Rev. Mr Stillingfleet, and Mr. John Bacon.
Rev. Scott
Self-will is a prominent feature in children. The present disorders of Europe may be assigned to the want of the old plan of discipline. We should teach children that they must obey a master. We shall never learn better wisdom than God has taught us in the Bible. Easy correction is the best way of counteracting self-will. Never give a child what he cries for: it’s like paying a child for crying. I have loved my mother better than my father, when a child; yet he indulged me, but she did not.
It is a fashion to teach children things as amusement. But it is of great importance to get a child into habits of application and self-denial. This is of more importance than anything they acquire.
I began with my children when they were in arms: this gave less trouble.
Religious people fail herein more than others. A Christian parent finds anger rise, begins to fear, and therefore gives way.
When reason ripens, then reason with them.
Rev. Pratt
The chief vices of children are greediness and self-will. These are the parents of thieving, revenge, cruelty, etc.
There are two extremes – severity and laxity – which must be guarded against in the management of children. Of the two extremes, severity is the least injurious in its efforts. Laxity gives more trouble in the issue.
It is a nice thing, however, to preserve both love and authority. My own father, I always felt and others have observed, was a happy example of the combination of these.
Convince a child that you intend his good. Let him see no passion in you. Guard against repressing the natural workings of his mind, lest you make the child affected or hypocritical.
Rev. Clayton
There are early discernible in children both envy and jealousy. For instance, how soon we see in children, that a thing taken away by another child, becomes valuable, though it was not esteemed so before.
We cannot renew the heart, but we can prevent evil habits. Much may be done to smooth the ruggedness of nature by education. Few children are well educated: they retain some peculiar or manner for want of attention.
To chastise in wrath tends to strengthen the evil you desire to correct. Chastisement is an ordinance of God. Now we none of us think of going to God’s ordinance in wrath: why, then, to this? I once brought guilt on my conscience by chastising a child in anger. I changed my manner, and profited it, and have had no occasion for correcting sense. I have had great comfort in my children.
Promiscuous visiting, allowing your children to mix in the company of neglected children, counteracts the efforts of parents. One visit will desolate the cultivated garden. “What a mean room is this!” – said a little girl I knew, after returning home from a gay party of children to which she was unaccustomed.
Rev. Woodd
Parental authority will be despised, if it be not grounded on affection. Affection, also, will be despised, if it be not supported by authority.
The passion of fear may be used to give way to the passion of love.
The prevalent evils I have observed in children are – self-will and selfishness; petty tyranny; falsehood; indolence; gluttony.
Rev. Abdy
I have proceeded on too lenient a plan with my children; and I condemn myself. I have been in the habit, for instance, of commiserating illness in them too much; this tends to spoil them. Being of tender spirits myself, my children have seen this. But being thus of a sympathizing and tender spirit in myself, I should have preserved a sort of reserve.
My child can put on a look that makes me smile, even when I am displeased, and I am obliged to say – “Though I smile, yet I’m angry.”
For great effects of depravity, I always stand firm.
Rev. Goode
Passion may be seen even at the breast: obstinacy too. My child kept me for two or three hours before it’s obstinacy would give way; but I conquered, and have had no trouble since.
Lying, pride if born of rich parents, are soon seen in children.
A man must be both priest and king in his family, and prophet too!
Rev. Venn
The affection of its parent must be the prevailing idea with the child. Severity itself then proceeds from affection. The insubordination of the present arises from the mismanagement of children.
God entrusted children to parents, that their wisdom, strength, and authority, may supply the lack of them in children. But parents often unwillingly forward the vices of their children.
Guard against children ridiculing other children. They will turn out pests if this be not discouraged.
We should consider children not so much as objects of pleasure, as subject of improvement entrusted to us. This view will give the character and tone to all that a parent does.
We cannot lay down one measure and rule for all children.
We should get a clear view of children’s disposition and character: and implant in them conscientiousness. They should be taught to view with horror any infringement on conscientiousness. They have an early capacity of feeling this.
We should use, also all methods of counteracting depravity. A combination of authority, affection, and instruction should be aimed at.
Give your children an impression of the importance of religion.
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